wAntAn productions

Terrible headache today so here's my lame attempt at humour:

It's the last day of what constitutes the Chinese New Year celebrations, time to break out the Chinese New Year statistics:

• Net loss from illegal gambling activities = RM4.20.
• Number of different gambling games played = 3 ( Big Two, BlackJack and Mahjong ).
• Number of Chinese New Year dinners attended = 7 dinners at 7 different restaurants.
• Number of times Yee Sang was served = 6 times ( 4 with salmon, 2 with jellyfish ).
  
• Number of Mandarin Oranges consumed = 3 versus about 50 when I was younger.
• Number of Ang Pows collected = 32 red packets.
• Total sum of Ang Pow money = 4 digits away from a million.
• Total number of times the phrase "This better be your last year receiving Ang Pow" was heard = 23 times.
• Total number of times the question "When are you getting married?" was heard = 37 times.
• Most expensive lunch I had to pay for during Chinese New Year ( when typically prices are inflated ) = RM70 for two noodle dishes for 4 persons!
• Number of times sleep was interrupted by illegal release of fireworks and firecrackers = 15 times which basically means every night.
• Number of times I was blasted with the word "Choy" when accidently uttering an inauspicious word or two = 18 times.
• Number of lottery tickets bought while feeling lucky = 10.
• Number of lottery tickets that were lucky = Zero. RM30 down the drain.
• Cans of beer consumed = Zero! Honest!
• Cans of Jolly Shandy consumed = not too sure... can't count in a drunken state.
• Number of annual leaves taken to take advantage of the Chinese New Year holidays = 3 days for a total of 10 days uninterrupted absence from work!!!.
• Amount of money spent on clothes = RM800+ but I still look like crap.
• Number of mandarin oranges thrown into the river by Siew Toh = 23.
• Number of mandarin oranges floating down river caught by me = 5. I fell down the boat after number 5.
• Number of shoes lost to the river = 1. Now I have half a pair of new Adidas shoes!
  

Ok I was mostly kidding. Most of it never happened ^_^